Benno's Figures fourm 2008...

[efb]

SEC Football Preview.*

The long dreary wait is over. Finally it's gameweek. In two nights the Southeastern Conference football season kicks off in Columbia South Carolina as the Gamecocks take on the Wolfpack of North Carolina State from the atlantic coast conferece.

I know many of you...think...you don't care for American football. I know it bothers you that points are scored and that there are no beer ads on the jerseys, but I'm here to help you understand and appreciate the game. This isn't really American football anyway, it's not that fake set of boobs with fireworks known as the NFL...these are teams that have been playing for over 100 years, this is a Southern institution that is as important in these parts as the Baptist Church, this is the S-E-C.

The Southeastern Conference has 12 member institutions and you will be introduced to them all...their arcane mascots, their game time traditions and cheers, their biggest rivals, etc. We'll start at the begining.

Alphabeticaly Alabama comes first...it's fitting.

NOTE: If your figure collection is dominated by Imperial Romans, French Napoleonics and WWII Germans...Bama would be your team.



The University of Alabama Crimson Tide has been, in many ways, the face of the SEC. They've won 21 SEC Championships, 12 National Championships and played in more bowl games than any other team in college football. It is where Bear Bryant coached. In the early 70's life magazine listed the most recognizable Southerners of all time...he was on the short list with Robert E Lee and Elvis Presely.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Bryant

Bryant Deny Stadium in Tuscaloosa is their home and it's a rough place to play...

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(the song kinda sucks, but the "few truths" opening comment from the voice of the SEC on CBS, Swedish-American, Vern Lunquist is priceless)

Most of that footage is from a beating they gave my Gators in '05. I was there it was worse than it looks.

Here's the lovely send-off they give you when they beat your a**.

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"Hey Gators/
We just the beat the hell out of you/
Rammer Jammer-Yellow Hammer/
Give 'em hell Alabama."

The Yellow Hammer is the state bird of Alabama...the rest is just bone-jarring nonesense.

Alabama has two rivals. One is Tennessee and their annual meeting is known as the Third Saturday in October. The other is with Auburn. Known as the Iron Bowl...it's probably the most bitter rivalry in all of college sports.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Bowl

Enough of Alabama...I've only scratched the surface but they've gotten more than enough time from me.

Next up Arkansas Razorbacks.


*Humor me clowns I'm so fired up my gums are tingling...

[Susofrick]

Thanks for showing! I'm not a great fan of any sport, but it is ALLWAYS!!! interesting and great to learn something new. And I know absolutely nothing 'bout American Football ('xcept da cheerleaders ) and that the players are huuuuuge and play with their hands (?). I'm going to follow this topic

[efb]

Your very welcome...believe me it's my pleasure .

Believe it or not, the Cheerleaders have an important role to play during the game and it has to do with another aspect of the game that is usually irritating to our friends across the Atlantic....the constant STOPPING OF THE GAME. As you point out, the game is played mostly with the hands. It should Rugby not football, but there was so much confusion about organized sports in the late 19th century and football was all people really knew. So, when people tried to explain what it was they called it football.

It's actually rugby with a line of scrimmage. Whenever the ball carrier is tackled the play STOPS and the ball is placed where the carrier was taken down. This is where the beauty of the game becomes evident. Now a play has to be called...should you throw the ball, or run the ball, is the defense expecting a run, will the defense blitz?



The coach has to make a decision and call a play, but...there's always options. If the quarterback sees something in the defense that he doesn't like he can call an audible. These are plays that can be called at the line of scrimmage. Even if the play isn't changed the offense CAN NOT move before the ball is snapped to the quarterback.

That's where the cheerleaders come...they help create the noise that's meant to distract and confuse the offense as they try and decide what to do. It's what makes noise at an A. Football game different from E. Football. The noise will be desfening until the ball is snapped and then there's an immediate silence as the play unfolds.

[Adam]

O.K we are listening, go on...

[efb]

I see...all I have to do is mention cheerleaders and even the odd brit will perk up.

University of Arkansas joined the SEC in 1992 when the conference expanded to 12 teams.* We love them and are glad to have them but their history is really with teams from the old Southwest Conference...especially the Texas Longhorns.

They are the Razorbacks (wild hogs).



Fayetteville Arkansas is where they're located and they are way out west in what is an otherwise geographically tight conference. Still, like I said, we are glad to have them.

They're favorite cheer is called "calling in the hogs"...Pig Soooooooooyie! Awesome

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They haven't had any spectacular success in the Conference, but they are always tough and recently they stole their coach from the NFL Atlanta Falcons...if that gives you any idea about the clout of the SEC.

I don't know who they would be in your collection...maybe like Turkey in Nato.

*More on this later.

[Adam]

You'd be surprised, a bit of enthusiasm and explanation on your part, and the odd pretty bint waggling her norks around in the content will do for most blokes!

[efb]

I am nothing if not enthusiastic!

Tomorrow will explain what this...



has to do with the Auburn University War Eagles...or Plainsmen...or Tigers.

Poor Auburn...they've got identity issues, but I guess being located in the state of Alabama less than 200 miles from Tuscaloosa will do that.

[Susofrick]

Here it looks something like that 3-4 months every year. It's called SNOW and Winter . Just kidding! I'm still interested in this topic!

[Susofrick]

Here it is:

[efb]

It's a blizzard of toilet paper (Thankfully it hasn't really snowed in this area for 11 years.)

That's Toomers Corner in downtown Auburn, AL. It's the intersection where Toomer's Drug Store is located. It's tradition that after every big win Auburn fans throng there and "roll" the place...covering everything with toilet paper. Legend has it that John Hiesman, college football's award for most oustanding player is named after him, used to go to Toomer's Drugs for lemonades.

Auburn's got a lot of great traditions.



Their nickname is the Tigers, but they have two mascots. One, Aubie is a Tiger. The other is an eagle named Tiger. Occasionally, and much to their irritation, you will hear someone refer to them as the Plainsmen.

Tigers is the only official nickname, but whenever two or more Auburn fans are gathered you will constantly hear the phrase "War Eagle."

"War Eagle."

"War Eagle. How are the kids, War Eagle."

"Missy starts school on Monday, War Eagle."

"Well, that's exciting for her...I suppose, War Eagle."

It's a battle cry, but it's more than that...it's an affirmation, a not-so-secret handshake. One national sports caster heard it while he was covering a bowl game and picked it up. It's part of his show now and callers stick War in front of anything they want or hope to happen.

Like "War Hat getting out the colonial Indians before 2010," or "War me becoming a world famous banjo player."

The legend of the Eagle dates back to the Civil War and the Battle of the Wilderness. An Auburn student was left for dead on the battlefield and when he awoke the only living thing he saw was a baby eagle. He took it back to Alabama with him and during the first Auburn football game in 1892 he took flight when Auburn scored...the crowd yelled "War Eagle." The cry remains but the eagle dropped dead after the game.

Before every game Tiger, the eagle, is let loose from atop the stadium and circles the place, the stadium goes berzerk in the sections he passes over, as he works his was down to the middle of the field. It's one the coolest scenes in the SEC.

The Plainsmen comes from a Poem, as does Tigers, about the "loveliest village on the plains." You'll hear that quite as a reference to Auburn.

It all sounds great, what a place, what traditions....nevermind that their rivalry with the Georgia Bulldogs is the oldest in Southern football. So, what's the problem? They're in the same state as the Galactic Empire.

Auburn's a Agricultural and Technical School...farmers and engineers. When they go to Tuscaloosa, the Old-South, Old-Money, Alabama fans serenade them with Old McDonald Had a Farm. Bear Bryant refered to Auburn as "that Cow College."

Auburn has 1 National Championship and 6-7 SEC Championships...Alabama has 12 and 21 respectively. Auburn has beaten Alabama soundly for the last six years straight. Just after the fourth win in a row, Auburn fans started a harassing Bama fans by telling them to fear the thumb...that fifth win. Bama's response, "why is that where they wear their one Championship ring...ouch.

Any other place they'd be undisputed superstars....
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(at least watch until 0:40...DAYUM!)

Auburn has one more tradition...beating the crap out of the Gators whenever I'm in attendance.

[efb]

Comedic interlude...

As I mentioned there is a rivalry between Tennessee and Alabama. Today on one of the regional radio shows a Tennessee fan called in and reported teh following....

"I heard this morning that all ammunition in the state of Alabama has been sold out. Yeah, they bought it all up...Said, the Russians may have conquered Georgia, but that's not not gonna happen here in Alabama."

[efb]

Huge game today for the Gators against the Tennessee Volunteers.

If anybody's interested you can watch it online today.

http://www.sportsline.com/collegefootball/video/live

[efb]

I've been sherking my duties here...the season's half over and we haven't even gotten throug a quarter of the conferance, but I've got a news flash.

Vanderbilt University beat Auburn tonight. That probably doesn't mean much of anything to y'all, but let me try and explain.

Vanderbilt is an elite university in Nashville. It's the most academic elite university in the SEC...sports is not high on their agenda. Imagine, if you can, ,a tiny country in Europe, full of bright and talented people, that is CONSTANTLY being steam rolled by it's bigger neighbors...That's Vanderbilt.

They flipped the script tonight.

Vanderbilt Comadores 14 - Auburn Tigers 13.

[Peter]

I like it when the underdog wins

Greetings Peter

[Susofrick]

I agree with Peter. Hope this "school" continues.

[Adam]

I british, given me the undergdog everytime, as long as they don't win too much, the only thing we seem to hate more than a favourite is success.

[efb]

Vandy went down today y'all....lost to Mississippi State.


Gators have a huge game tonight, and you can watch it...if you want.

http://www.sportsline.com/collegefootba ... BL08_SCORE


P.S. I actually have pictures of figures to post...and I'll do it soon. I haven't completely forgotten about the little dudes.

[efb]

I know none of y'all stayed up til 4 in the mornin' to watch...let me fill you in, the GATORS are a beast.

They are beating the crap out of LSU.


It's-Great-To-Be-A-Florida-Gator-Said-It's-Great-to-Be-A-Florida-Gator-Said...

[efb]

I've been doing a little snooping around today and have uncovered an interesting tidbit...

It turns out that there are, or have been, some RUGBY teams in Britian that refered to themselves as Suchandsuch F. C. , and it dosen't stand for Fast Cars.

We'll just put this one away in the hmmmmmmm file.

[efb]

If anybody's interested...the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party...Florida v. Georgia. Florida's biggest rival...

http://www.sportsline.com/collegefootba ... O_LIVETNGA

Watch it live.