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Kiwi is not alone

Posted by Paul on 17 Oct 2009, 20:58

ModernKiwi wrote:
What more could you possibly ask for?

A big white cat :-) :-)
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Paul  China
 
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Posted by west1871 on 17 Oct 2009, 21:13

do you get free dental care?
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west1871  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by monty on 17 Oct 2009, 23:00

and what about medical cause i was fighting a double oh once and my arm was blown off by a lotus espirit :mrgreen:
p.s a "laser" on the moon called the deathstar :-D
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monty  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by ModernKiwi on 17 Oct 2009, 23:36

No White Cats allowed for goons. Mr Scruffie hates competition.

Yes, there is a medical plan (although I don't expect that many claimants).

And after you've captured a Double-Oh agent, please take him to the central control room and tie him up, over there next to the self destruct controls. I need to have a long one-sided chat with him about my evil nefarious plans for world domination.

BTW: Now also hiring for members of the Weather Control, Germ Warfare and Atomic Power teams.
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ModernKiwi  New Zealand
 
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Posted by Paul on 18 Oct 2009, 11:58

I´ve got some experience with rechargeable batteries up to 6HP strength, after a curry, some wealth of knowledge with poison gas and my Pine cone collection shows me wether it´s going to rain or not, so I´ll apply for team co-ordinator for the weather/Germ and Atomic team, or T.W.A.G as I´d like to call it :-)
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Paul  China
 
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Posted by monty on 18 Oct 2009, 12:46

i will apply for weather and germ team as i've pet pig called betty that has swine flu she also tells me when its going to storm by falling over :-D
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monty  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by ModernKiwi on 18 Oct 2009, 23:03

Gentlemen


Thank you both for your applications for roles at World Domination Corp.

You have not been accepted for these roles as your accents are not evil enough. Despite Hollywood's best efforts, a Britisher accent simply does not convey the necessary menance that World Domination Corp is looking for.

Your resumes will be kept on file as an example to others.

Good day

Ms Dr Petra von Skund & Sunderlunde
Ober-direktor Human Resources and Disposals
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ModernKiwi  New Zealand
 
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Posted by Fenton on 18 Oct 2009, 23:42

I would like to apply for the role in World Corp...I shall not reveal my accent as a good henchman knows he will never have any lines, and I have had experience in

a) standing about looking helpless and not being able to notice anything when be sneaked up upon from behind

b) running around willy nilly in a constant state of confusion

c) the abilty to tie really bad knots that will take only a couple of minutes to get free from ( I also have the abilty to leave sharpened pieces of glass/metal lying about for people to rub their bonds against)

d) shooting my fellow henchmen see point (B) above

e) in doing some fantastic mid air somersaults when explosions go off near me

f) leaving important escape craft open and within easy reach for our enemies to use when making their escape

g) I also have my own boilersuit in a variety of colours to suit the colour schemes in the underground lair of your choice


Unfortuantly I have no references at this time as all other evil overlords that I have worked for have come to a untimely end in various grusome ways,,excpect Mr Fu Manchu..who the world will apparantly hear from again

I look forward to hearing from you soon

Fenton
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Posted by monty on 19 Oct 2009, 07:35

seeing as i was not accepted into world corp i now have two option i could form my own corporation or fight world corp
i choose to fight world corp to my last dying breath (which might be very soon) :viking: :horse: :sparta: :mrgreen:
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monty  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by ModernKiwi on 19 Oct 2009, 09:53

Congratulations Mr Fenton and welcome to World Domination Corp.

Your first assignment is to eliminate a troublemaker in Newhaven, East Sussex, the UK.

{Places a baseball bat on the table}

Make it violent...

{Places a chainsaw on the table next to the baseball bat}

And if you can't make it violent, make it messy...

{Places a stuffed kangaroo on the table next to the chainsaw and the baseball bat}

And if you can't make it messy, make it stupid.

Now get to it man, what do you think we're paying you for...

:evil:
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ModernKiwi  New Zealand
 
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Posted by Paul on 19 Oct 2009, 16:54

ModernKiwi wrote:Gentlemen


Thank you both for your applications for roles at World Domination Corp.

You have not been accepted for these roles as your accents are not evil enough. Despite Hollywood's best efforts, a Britisher accent simply does not convey the necessary menance that World Domination Corp is looking for.

Your resumes will be kept on file as an example to others.

Good day

Ms Dr Petra von Skund & Sunderlunde
Ober-direktor Human Resources and Disposals

Hey!!!, I speak german with an english accent, what could be more evil than that??. And I´ve seen all the Austin Powers films at least 6 times each!!!!
(psssst!, Fenton worked U.N.C.L.E in the 60´s)
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Paul  China
 
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Posted by west1871 on 19 Oct 2009, 18:10

Is it to late to apply for the weather dept?I was driving home and I saw some cows lying down ;-)
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west1871  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by ModernKiwi on 20 Oct 2009, 06:24

Mean while, back at the World Domination Headquarters (6b, Hollowed Out Volcano, Island of Dooom)...

Direktor Operations und Performance Enhancements (DOPE) ModernKiwi:

"What the devil are you doing here? I sent my most competent henchman to take you out"

"Oh he did, did he. Dinner, a movie and a nightclub afterwards! On my expense account!!!! Well that is the last time I trust a reference from Fu Manchu"

"What are you doing? Nooooooo, don't touch that. It be the verra self destruct button for my whole complex!!!!"

<FX> Lound rumbling sounds followed by vast explosions and volcanic erruption.

Stock footage of ninjas running for their lives "borrowed" from You Only Live Twice

COULD THIS BE THE END OF WORLD DOMINATION CORP? And who will get stuck with the expenses account?

Most probably not to be continued....
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ModernKiwi  New Zealand
 
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Posted by Peter on 20 Oct 2009, 08:14

That's why I took a cave, with the only company of Alex' bear :mrgreen:

:coffee:
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Peter  Belgium

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Posted by Paul on 20 Oct 2009, 15:50

Peter wrote:That's why I took a cave, with the only company of Alex' bear :mrgreen:

:coffee:

but the photos show another story :-)
http://www.bennosfigures.com/forum/view ... light=cave :
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Paul  China
 
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Posted by monty on 20 Oct 2009, 17:03

muhahahahahaha my plan to destroy world domination corp worked soundly
i claim responsibility for the destruction of world domination corp but not the expensive account
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monty  United Kingdom
 
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Posted by Paul on 20 Oct 2009, 18:54

Frickin ey!!!!
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Paul  China
 
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Posted by Fenton on 20 Oct 2009, 22:57

Ummm hi I'm back <burp>

Look I can explain ...I mean listen I was a little distrested about sending me to Newhaven to get Mr Monty... MR MONTY for gods sake...hes dangerous, why didnt you send me against somebody easy to take out like DR Q and his DDD (Deadly Dolphin Deatchents), that I could have handled!

So anyway I was sitting there fiddling with the chainsaw ( there VERY sharp by the way) , when this nice bloke comes into the bar and starts chatting about the football, the weather , world domination, and says he's a travelling Cenus director and is a bit stuck at the moment as he he is trying to count Evil Masterminds who are trying to take over the world and he thinks he's a couple short and if I knew the location of any?...Well I had probably has a Baby Sham too many and I just blurted it out .

And when I woke up I was completely naked and the stuffed Kangaroo was umm ...lets say it thought I was its mum and had tried to get back in its pouch

So thats it...Very sorry and all that...Ummm you can get a nice Tikka Masala in Newhaven by the way if your ever there

Oh I have an extra on my expenses account you might want to look at...I had to buy a packet of plasters when I cut my finger on the chainsaw

I'll just go now and get me boilersuit dry cleaned........
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Posted by Fenton on 21 Oct 2009, 06:32

***Looks about at the devestation*** Well that seems to be that then



Come on Mr Scruffie I think I've got a Tin of Kit E Kat around here somewhere.....................................







***Fade to Black***
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Posted by Maurice on 21 Oct 2009, 13:19

Looks like Kiwi keeps moving from one end of the forum to the other :lol:
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